I do not consider myself a profound intellect. I do not consider myself an inept neither. I do, however, have a sense of humor, which can be very controversial these days. Case and point: the latest adventure...
With the declining economy, we have decided the best position to be in financially is as free and clear as possible. We currently subscribe to Dish Network services. Once our initial 2-year contract expired, we made sure to avoid any further commitments that would limit our flexibility to cancel our service. When we moved to our new home in January we had Dish move our equipment for "free". Yeah, you guessed it, NOTHING today is free. Apparently, having them move our equipment for "free" really committed us to an 18-month contract. Nice. If you are a current Dish customer, beware - I told the nice customer service representative that I would make sure to warn all my friends about their deceitfulness. Well, I am holding to my promise.
Regardless, over the past few months, we had planned to install a large directional antenna in our attic to see how many HD channels we could pickup. The TV we bought in July has an integrated ATSC tuner, which is what interprets the HD signal. We are hoping one day to once again enjoy FREE over-the-air TV.
I enter a certain "electronics" store this evening and head over to the antenna section. A salesperson opens the "Employees Only" door and exits - right into my path. She, er He - no She was dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt, a rainbow tie, and short hair - not part of the apparel but significant, nonetheless. Here is the conversation that ensued:
Salesperson: "Can I help you find anything?"
Customer: "Yes, I want to buy a 60" antenna."
Salesperson: "OK, I've got one in back."
Customer: "One question first."
Salesperson: "Sure."
Customer: "My builder left an un-terminated coax cable in the attic where I will be setting up this antenna. I need to know what type of connection it comes with so that I can buy all the necessary hardware here."
Salesperson: "All the antennas we sell have a female connector."
Customer: "Oh, OK. So do I need to put a female connector on my un-terminated coax cable?"
Salesperson: "No. You need a male connector."
Customer: "Really. You mean two females together won't work?"
Salesperson: "Absolutely not, you need a male connector."
Customer: "Well, what about two males?"
Salesperson: "Again Sir, No. You need one female and one male."
Customer: "Interesting. I bet there are quite a few people who don't understand that concept."
Salesperson: "Oh, you'd be surprised..."
Customer: "Probably not."
Salesperson: "Anything else I can help you with today?"
Customer: "No, thank you. I think we both learned some valuable information today. Thank you so much for your time."
Salesperson: "Um, no problem, please come again!".
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Nauseating Adventure
It has become a Bosch family tradition to travel to Disneyland the week before Thanksgiving. We spend 3 days going between The Magic Kingdom and California Adventure. The group consists of Nana (my Mom), my 2 sisters, their husbands, and kids. Total, there are 7 adults and 10 kids. Papa (my Dad) and Unkie Ryan (my brother) prefer to avoid the chaos and remain in the comfort of their own home. After this year, I think that choice was best...
We arrived at the hotel Tuesday morning where we met up with the rest of the clan that came in Monday evening from Northern CA. We dropped off our stuff in the room and quickly headed to the park. After hugs and kisses were exchanged we were "silently" warned that one of my nieces was throwing up last night but it was probably nothing to be concerned about (this would come into play later on...) because she woke up this morning feeling fine. The day was beautiful, I believe the high that day was around 85 - heaven if you ask Celeste.
The kids had a blast running from ride to ride. Going this time of the year is perfect - there is hardly anybody there. The longest we waiting in any line was probably 10 minutes. As night-time arrived we could tell the kids were ready to crash. We ate dinner at California Adventure and then Nana and Celeste headed back to the hotel to put the kids to bed. The rest of us returned to The Magic Kingdom and caught a few more rides. Given that we had gotten up around 5:30 am to leave Vegas that morning, I was very tired. I called it a night and returned to the hotel to find everyone asleep at 7:30 PM. :-)
The next day was much of the same - beautiful weather and LOTS of fun. Jumping from ride to ride so quickly was almost too good to be true. Again, we ate dinner at California Adventure (cheaper food and more options) and then returned to get on more rides. This time, however, everyone came. One slight problem upon arrival. Apparently another one of my nieces experienced a stomach irregularity and lost her cookies. Again, not too much of a concern, just bizarre. Oh but wait, now some more folks are feeling very well. OK, those who are feeling nauseated should return to the hotel and the rest of us will jump on a few more rides. Small World had been closed for about 11 months and opened on Wednesday - we jumped in line and enjoyed the ride.
We returned to the hotel, got the kids ready for bed and fell asleep. Kallin, around 12:30 am, started making some noise. We both wake up and realize, he is barfing. OK, now I'm starting to see a pattern. Get him cleaned up and put back to bed. About 20 minutes later, Allie wakes up and joins the party - she is sleeping on the other queen bed in the room and makes a mess. We had some ice cream with chocolate topping so you can image the color of her mess...:-)
A few hours later, Allie starts again. This time we were a bit more prepared with the ice bucket in hand (I will never use one of those for ice again!). OK, back to sleep. Argh, it's Kallin waking up again. Nice, he's barfing...again. I need some sleep. I'm surprised Celeste has made it through this whole order without losing it - pregnant and all. Heh, spoke too soon - she's in the bathroom now, making her contribution. Allie had one more spell that night - and Celeste several more. I think we got maybe 2 hours of sleep, which is amazing given how lovely our room smelled...
The next morning I drag myself next door to where Nana is staying. I open the door and she has her head buried in the pillows. Huh. "Nana, everyone is sick in my room". "Join, the crowd" she says. What?? Yeah, apparently EVERYONE in our group was throwing up at some point that night. All except the Men :-). Somehow, we had survived the chaos. We felt so bad for Housekeeping that we left a VERY generous tip. Thursday was supposed to be our last day at the park but we decided to head home instead. The rest of the family was scheduled to stay one more night so they went back to the park on Friday when everyone was feeling better.
Needless to say, Wednesday night was The Nauseating Adventure. The 3 Men of the group were quite proud of our ability to sleep through the stench of, well, I'll spare you the details...
Are you crazy? Of course we'll be back next year - I wouldn't miss it for the world!
We arrived at the hotel Tuesday morning where we met up with the rest of the clan that came in Monday evening from Northern CA. We dropped off our stuff in the room and quickly headed to the park. After hugs and kisses were exchanged we were "silently" warned that one of my nieces was throwing up last night but it was probably nothing to be concerned about (this would come into play later on...) because she woke up this morning feeling fine. The day was beautiful, I believe the high that day was around 85 - heaven if you ask Celeste.
The kids had a blast running from ride to ride. Going this time of the year is perfect - there is hardly anybody there. The longest we waiting in any line was probably 10 minutes. As night-time arrived we could tell the kids were ready to crash. We ate dinner at California Adventure and then Nana and Celeste headed back to the hotel to put the kids to bed. The rest of us returned to The Magic Kingdom and caught a few more rides. Given that we had gotten up around 5:30 am to leave Vegas that morning, I was very tired. I called it a night and returned to the hotel to find everyone asleep at 7:30 PM. :-)
The next day was much of the same - beautiful weather and LOTS of fun. Jumping from ride to ride so quickly was almost too good to be true. Again, we ate dinner at California Adventure (cheaper food and more options) and then returned to get on more rides. This time, however, everyone came. One slight problem upon arrival. Apparently another one of my nieces experienced a stomach irregularity and lost her cookies. Again, not too much of a concern, just bizarre. Oh but wait, now some more folks are feeling very well. OK, those who are feeling nauseated should return to the hotel and the rest of us will jump on a few more rides. Small World had been closed for about 11 months and opened on Wednesday - we jumped in line and enjoyed the ride.
We returned to the hotel, got the kids ready for bed and fell asleep. Kallin, around 12:30 am, started making some noise. We both wake up and realize, he is barfing. OK, now I'm starting to see a pattern. Get him cleaned up and put back to bed. About 20 minutes later, Allie wakes up and joins the party - she is sleeping on the other queen bed in the room and makes a mess. We had some ice cream with chocolate topping so you can image the color of her mess...:-)
A few hours later, Allie starts again. This time we were a bit more prepared with the ice bucket in hand (I will never use one of those for ice again!). OK, back to sleep. Argh, it's Kallin waking up again. Nice, he's barfing...again. I need some sleep. I'm surprised Celeste has made it through this whole order without losing it - pregnant and all. Heh, spoke too soon - she's in the bathroom now, making her contribution. Allie had one more spell that night - and Celeste several more. I think we got maybe 2 hours of sleep, which is amazing given how lovely our room smelled...
The next morning I drag myself next door to where Nana is staying. I open the door and she has her head buried in the pillows. Huh. "Nana, everyone is sick in my room". "Join, the crowd" she says. What?? Yeah, apparently EVERYONE in our group was throwing up at some point that night. All except the Men :-). Somehow, we had survived the chaos. We felt so bad for Housekeeping that we left a VERY generous tip. Thursday was supposed to be our last day at the park but we decided to head home instead. The rest of the family was scheduled to stay one more night so they went back to the park on Friday when everyone was feeling better.
Needless to say, Wednesday night was The Nauseating Adventure. The 3 Men of the group were quite proud of our ability to sleep through the stench of, well, I'll spare you the details...
Are you crazy? Of course we'll be back next year - I wouldn't miss it for the world!
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Shortest Adventure
He loves the outdoors. Don't let his city slicker charm throw you off - He feels right at home in woods, covered in dirt and wrapped in clothes saturated with campfire smoke. May I present to you the one, the only: The Brave Cowpoke
Growing up I always looked forward to camp outs with Dad. I don't know what is was - he just became "cool" for that short period of time. The annual Fathers and Sons outing is always a popular attraction. For one night, boys get to be boys, Men get to be Men, and Moms, well, never stop worrying about what might happen to both of them...
Somehow, we always made it home alive and in one piece, with plenty of near death experiences, of course, to share with my hysterical mother. I never understood why the thought of 15 Dads watching 20 - 30 kids was so nerve-racking! Well now I do.
Kallin and I spent our first Fathers and Sons together a few weeks ago. He turned 2 years old in July, and to me, that makes him old enough to learn wilderness survival - heh, just kidding. He spent hours just running around chasing the "big boys". I think it was about 10:30 pm before I finally got him to slow down and hit the sack.
We enjoyed a night of luxury - dutch oven biscuits and gravy, heart-attack potatoes, and some peanut butter smores to wash it all down. Mad props to Kolter and Chris - they know how to make a man happy, er, I mean, make a lonely guy feel at home in the tent trailer, um, I mean make a Father and Son feel like a million bucks - yeah, that's better.
As the sun rose early the next morning it was time to tear down camp and head back to the city. The adventure was short, but sweet. Here's to the most memorable moments that never last long enough...
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Growing up I always looked forward to camp outs with Dad. I don't know what is was - he just became "cool" for that short period of time. The annual Fathers and Sons outing is always a popular attraction. For one night, boys get to be boys, Men get to be Men, and Moms, well, never stop worrying about what might happen to both of them...
Somehow, we always made it home alive and in one piece, with plenty of near death experiences, of course, to share with my hysterical mother. I never understood why the thought of 15 Dads watching 20 - 30 kids was so nerve-racking! Well now I do.
Kallin and I spent our first Fathers and Sons together a few weeks ago. He turned 2 years old in July, and to me, that makes him old enough to learn wilderness survival - heh, just kidding. He spent hours just running around chasing the "big boys". I think it was about 10:30 pm before I finally got him to slow down and hit the sack.
We enjoyed a night of luxury - dutch oven biscuits and gravy, heart-attack potatoes, and some peanut butter smores to wash it all down. Mad props to Kolter and Chris - they know how to make a man happy, er, I mean, make a lonely guy feel at home in the tent trailer, um, I mean make a Father and Son feel like a million bucks - yeah, that's better.
As the sun rose early the next morning it was time to tear down camp and head back to the city. The adventure was short, but sweet. Here's to the most memorable moments that never last long enough...
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Unexpected Adventure
So I'm in the Atlanta airport waiting for my flight to Raleigh, NC. There is an Indian family (I guess that's what they were...) waiting in the boarding area with me - didn't think much of it at the time. Their son, about 4 or 5 years old, could not sit still. His older sister would have to chase him down every couple of minutes. Meanwhile, the parents just sat there and said nothing. Nice.
I board the plane and notice one of the flight attendants has very short purple hair - that alone would raise serious questions, but then when she spoke I could tell she had a European accent. Now the hairstyle was acceptable. Remember that rambunctious little Indian I spoke about earlier? Well, here comes the Cowboys and Indians part of the story.
So this kid is sitting in a window seat while his mother, covered from head to toe mind you (isn't that a security risk???) is sitting in the aisle seat. He proceeds to stand up and relentlessly hit the "Attendant Call" button. It just so happened that the purple-haired flight attendant was standing only a couple feet away. She immediately turned around to see what all the fuss was about and proceeding to grab the kid's hand, stare him in the face, and in her best English, yell: "Stoppit, that is a very serious button. Don't play with it." Oh, the mother? Yeah, she just sat there and did nothing.
One would think that a child would have already caused a big enough scene and the mother would have sat him down in preparation for takeoff. Oh no, not today. The second Ms. Purple Hair turns her back he bangs on the Call button again, and again. This time her voice was a little more stern and a LOT louder, "I told you to stoppit, kid." However this time she grabbed the kid's arm and then used it to push him into the seat. Oh, where's Mom? Yeah, she still hasn't done a thing - still sitting there doing who knows what.
Well, we finally take off and all seems to be going well - until we are about 10 minutes away from landing. I catch this whiff of something, not sure what, but it's definitely something. As it gets stronger my nose hairs start burning - it is the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled in my life. I seriously thought I was going to barf. Next thing I know everyone is squirming. And then (not really to my surprise), "little boy slappy" is being every-so-promptly "shoved" past my seat and into the bathroom. Oh great. So the "mom" proceeds to rip this kid a new one and scream at him for a good 5 minutes - meanwhile, the smell has subsided; however, obviously something has happened because Ms. Purple Hair has now congregated with two other flight attendants trying to figure out how to clean up something. Makes sense. But again, the smell has gone away - interesting...
So after the yelling show in the bathroom trails off, we seem to return back to our own business. At this point, half of us are still trying to figure out just what the heck happened up in seat 18E (I'm in 28E, mind you). Next thing I know, that unexplicable smell returned - it almost seemed like it came out of nowhere until I turned to the left and saw "craps while he flies" walk past me, followed by his gem of a mother, "teach him a lesson and make him sit in it". They return back to their seats like nothing has happened. Now at this stage, we have all opened our air vents full blast and are practically sucking the fresh air right out of them. You know, now that I think about it, I'm surprised the oxygen masks didn't fall down - really, it was that bad.
Now, the sweet flight attendants had made a valiant effort to clean up the mess (which I can only guess was the product of a rear-end because I have NEVER smelled barf that rancid...), plastic gloves and all. But, their efforts were in vain as this mother of the year decided this would be a good time to teach stinky pants a lesson and make him sit in his waste for the remainder of the flight...Lovely.
All I can say is that I have never seen a plane de-board so quickly. Well, do you blame us? When I thought the drama was all over, I grabbed my carry-on and headed down the aisle. Upon arriving at seat 18E, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was now required to step over the "mess" and experience it's damaging odor one last time - unbelievable.
And remember, ALL of this took place in a 60 minute flight from Atlanta, GA to Raleigh, NC. Awesome.
I board the plane and notice one of the flight attendants has very short purple hair - that alone would raise serious questions, but then when she spoke I could tell she had a European accent. Now the hairstyle was acceptable. Remember that rambunctious little Indian I spoke about earlier? Well, here comes the Cowboys and Indians part of the story.
So this kid is sitting in a window seat while his mother, covered from head to toe mind you (isn't that a security risk???) is sitting in the aisle seat. He proceeds to stand up and relentlessly hit the "Attendant Call" button. It just so happened that the purple-haired flight attendant was standing only a couple feet away. She immediately turned around to see what all the fuss was about and proceeding to grab the kid's hand, stare him in the face, and in her best English, yell: "Stoppit, that is a very serious button. Don't play with it." Oh, the mother? Yeah, she just sat there and did nothing.
One would think that a child would have already caused a big enough scene and the mother would have sat him down in preparation for takeoff. Oh no, not today. The second Ms. Purple Hair turns her back he bangs on the Call button again, and again. This time her voice was a little more stern and a LOT louder, "I told you to stoppit, kid." However this time she grabbed the kid's arm and then used it to push him into the seat. Oh, where's Mom? Yeah, she still hasn't done a thing - still sitting there doing who knows what.
Well, we finally take off and all seems to be going well - until we are about 10 minutes away from landing. I catch this whiff of something, not sure what, but it's definitely something. As it gets stronger my nose hairs start burning - it is the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled in my life. I seriously thought I was going to barf. Next thing I know everyone is squirming. And then (not really to my surprise), "little boy slappy" is being every-so-promptly "shoved" past my seat and into the bathroom. Oh great. So the "mom" proceeds to rip this kid a new one and scream at him for a good 5 minutes - meanwhile, the smell has subsided; however, obviously something has happened because Ms. Purple Hair has now congregated with two other flight attendants trying to figure out how to clean up something. Makes sense. But again, the smell has gone away - interesting...
So after the yelling show in the bathroom trails off, we seem to return back to our own business. At this point, half of us are still trying to figure out just what the heck happened up in seat 18E (I'm in 28E, mind you). Next thing I know, that unexplicable smell returned - it almost seemed like it came out of nowhere until I turned to the left and saw "craps while he flies" walk past me, followed by his gem of a mother, "teach him a lesson and make him sit in it". They return back to their seats like nothing has happened. Now at this stage, we have all opened our air vents full blast and are practically sucking the fresh air right out of them. You know, now that I think about it, I'm surprised the oxygen masks didn't fall down - really, it was that bad.
Now, the sweet flight attendants had made a valiant effort to clean up the mess (which I can only guess was the product of a rear-end because I have NEVER smelled barf that rancid...), plastic gloves and all. But, their efforts were in vain as this mother of the year decided this would be a good time to teach stinky pants a lesson and make him sit in his waste for the remainder of the flight...Lovely.
All I can say is that I have never seen a plane de-board so quickly. Well, do you blame us? When I thought the drama was all over, I grabbed my carry-on and headed down the aisle. Upon arriving at seat 18E, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was now required to step over the "mess" and experience it's damaging odor one last time - unbelievable.
And remember, ALL of this took place in a 60 minute flight from Atlanta, GA to Raleigh, NC. Awesome.
Friday, August 1, 2008
The Biggest Adventure Yet
The Brave Cowboy looked quite peculiar in his straw hat and speedo. The Senior picnic for Napa High School was the last "hoorah", if you will, of the year. Finally, that elusive graduation date was on the horizon. The only thing that stood in front of Napa's famed Brave Cowboy and the "finish line" was a trip to the waterslide park and then, well, final exams. How cruel - allow the students to celebrate their acheivments and then subject them relentless torment and misery! Fine whatever.
He boarded the bus that warm June morning and sat next to, well, probably nobody. You see, the Brave Cowboy had a "lady friend", if you will. He pretty much just hung out with her and had disregarded all the friends he had made - typical male. There was no shame, however, he simply pulled his hat down over his brow and marched to the back of the bus.
Wateworld, USA in Concord, CA was a new attraction that boasted the latest "technology in waterslide adventure!" Huh? Is that even possible? I could care less. They arrived at the park and spent the day being up-standing citizens and well-behaved teenagers. Really, they did. Of course nobody had any clue that they were actually withholding their mischeivity for the right time, at the right place. The right time turned out to be shortly before 3pm and the right place, apparently, was the Bonsai pipeline (the name of one of the waterslides - come on, keep up with the story!). Who knew? Well, obviously they did. Every year the Senior class - both nerds and jocks, alike - gather together and "clog up" one of the slides. Isn't this common knowledge? Well it should of been - then someone would have stopped their idiotic plan (at the time it sounded harmless enough...).
They gathered beneath the slides, which were strategically suspended from a giant wood tower. Nobody really remembers what was discussed during those few short minutes together - it was irrelevent. The desire was to be up there - breaking the school record of the total number of kids that could fit on a slide - duh!
The boots slowed this cowboy down, despite his VERY aerodynamic attire (re-read the first sentence in this story if you've already forgotten...geesh!). By the time he got to the top, most of the crowd was a hootin' and a hollerin'. The nice little lifeguard lady just sat down and raised a white flag - VICTORY!! Okie dokie, time to join the crowd. He launched himself down the slide and came to a very abrupt stop - sooner that he had expected. Huh, this can't be good. Oh well, just grab onto the sides and wait it out. Meanwhile, there seemed to be a relentless "thumping" coming from behind. He thought he was one of the final participants but apparently not. Just then, he heard a tear - No, not a tear - a tear. Lights out.
The light was blinding him and quickly became quite annoying. Oddly enough it seemed to be making him queezy. OK, the room, or box, or whatever it is that I'm in, seems to be spinning. I think I hear something; someone. Do I know you? What are you doing here? We're sharing this box and it seems a bit awkward. OK, I'll get better as soon as I can. Oh, by the way, what am I recoving from? You'll have to help me out here, I can't see much. OK, hi Danielle. Huh, we are sharing an ambulance. It's not registering - I can't process much information - the light, is just, well, bright. I can't move my neck. Something is holding it still. Wait, am I dead?
The Brave Cowboy had always wondered what it would be like to ride in an emergency vehicle. It seemed he was getting that chance but wasn't able to enjoy it. His vision was very cloudy and he was very disoriented. Ah, the hospital. A dead person wouldn't recognize a hospital. I hope I'm not inappropriately dressed for the occasion - does it really matter? Seems a bit breezier than normal. What is this time capsule thingy your putting me in? Huh, a quick ride in, and then right back out? That's it? Glad I didn't pay for that ride - oh, wait. Are you sizing me up for a casket? Why the random thoughts?
Mom, Dad, is that you? The ability to distinguish items seemed to be returning. Oh, the headache - unbearable. The white coat must mean you're a doctor - OK. What's wrong with me? Concussion? Cracked sternum? Bruised ribs? Sounds like something serious just happened. OK, I'll just lie down and relax - got anymore of that yummy jello?
It wasn't until several hours later that night that he began to understand the tragic reality. The waterslide broke? Ah yes, I remember "blacking out". Doctor, is this normal? Yes, when the brain experiences an "overload". It knew you were going to fall. Luckily you landed on the dirt below. How high? ~50 feet. Amazing. Is everyone OK? I couldn't even tell you who was next to me. I did barf on someone in the ambulance. Hopefully she'll forgive me.
After weeks of rehabilitation he realized that life had continued. School was now over. Graduation was a few days away. What about finals? Cancelled? Oh, the one good thing that came of this. What about baseball? Yeah, no chance of that - too sore. He would have to watch from the sidelines and simply root his team on to victory. The dream, that one chance, here and gone.
You must realize, that this is not a sad ending; rather a happy beginning - but I'll save that for another day...
Oh, and if you don't believe this story, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwhvE0gIm3I
He boarded the bus that warm June morning and sat next to, well, probably nobody. You see, the Brave Cowboy had a "lady friend", if you will. He pretty much just hung out with her and had disregarded all the friends he had made - typical male. There was no shame, however, he simply pulled his hat down over his brow and marched to the back of the bus.
Wateworld, USA in Concord, CA was a new attraction that boasted the latest "technology in waterslide adventure!" Huh? Is that even possible? I could care less. They arrived at the park and spent the day being up-standing citizens and well-behaved teenagers. Really, they did. Of course nobody had any clue that they were actually withholding their mischeivity for the right time, at the right place. The right time turned out to be shortly before 3pm and the right place, apparently, was the Bonsai pipeline (the name of one of the waterslides - come on, keep up with the story!). Who knew? Well, obviously they did. Every year the Senior class - both nerds and jocks, alike - gather together and "clog up" one of the slides. Isn't this common knowledge? Well it should of been - then someone would have stopped their idiotic plan (at the time it sounded harmless enough...).
They gathered beneath the slides, which were strategically suspended from a giant wood tower. Nobody really remembers what was discussed during those few short minutes together - it was irrelevent. The desire was to be up there - breaking the school record of the total number of kids that could fit on a slide - duh!
The boots slowed this cowboy down, despite his VERY aerodynamic attire (re-read the first sentence in this story if you've already forgotten...geesh!). By the time he got to the top, most of the crowd was a hootin' and a hollerin'. The nice little lifeguard lady just sat down and raised a white flag - VICTORY!! Okie dokie, time to join the crowd. He launched himself down the slide and came to a very abrupt stop - sooner that he had expected. Huh, this can't be good. Oh well, just grab onto the sides and wait it out. Meanwhile, there seemed to be a relentless "thumping" coming from behind. He thought he was one of the final participants but apparently not. Just then, he heard a tear - No, not a tear - a tear. Lights out.
The light was blinding him and quickly became quite annoying. Oddly enough it seemed to be making him queezy. OK, the room, or box, or whatever it is that I'm in, seems to be spinning. I think I hear something; someone. Do I know you? What are you doing here? We're sharing this box and it seems a bit awkward. OK, I'll get better as soon as I can. Oh, by the way, what am I recoving from? You'll have to help me out here, I can't see much. OK, hi Danielle. Huh, we are sharing an ambulance. It's not registering - I can't process much information - the light, is just, well, bright. I can't move my neck. Something is holding it still. Wait, am I dead?
The Brave Cowboy had always wondered what it would be like to ride in an emergency vehicle. It seemed he was getting that chance but wasn't able to enjoy it. His vision was very cloudy and he was very disoriented. Ah, the hospital. A dead person wouldn't recognize a hospital. I hope I'm not inappropriately dressed for the occasion - does it really matter? Seems a bit breezier than normal. What is this time capsule thingy your putting me in? Huh, a quick ride in, and then right back out? That's it? Glad I didn't pay for that ride - oh, wait. Are you sizing me up for a casket? Why the random thoughts?
Mom, Dad, is that you? The ability to distinguish items seemed to be returning. Oh, the headache - unbearable. The white coat must mean you're a doctor - OK. What's wrong with me? Concussion? Cracked sternum? Bruised ribs? Sounds like something serious just happened. OK, I'll just lie down and relax - got anymore of that yummy jello?
It wasn't until several hours later that night that he began to understand the tragic reality. The waterslide broke? Ah yes, I remember "blacking out". Doctor, is this normal? Yes, when the brain experiences an "overload". It knew you were going to fall. Luckily you landed on the dirt below. How high? ~50 feet. Amazing. Is everyone OK? I couldn't even tell you who was next to me. I did barf on someone in the ambulance. Hopefully she'll forgive me.
After weeks of rehabilitation he realized that life had continued. School was now over. Graduation was a few days away. What about finals? Cancelled? Oh, the one good thing that came of this. What about baseball? Yeah, no chance of that - too sore. He would have to watch from the sidelines and simply root his team on to victory. The dream, that one chance, here and gone.
You must realize, that this is not a sad ending; rather a happy beginning - but I'll save that for another day...
Oh, and if you don't believe this story, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwhvE0gIm3I
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The Adventure Begins
There once was a cowboy. He was strong and brave. He was not afraid of coyotes. He was not afraid of Indians. He was not afraid of ornery rustlers. He was, however, afraid of this:
He stood tall and straight...and had a two holster belt. But today, instead of his normal six shooters, he was packin' a lethal dose of Bayer Advanced - Home Pest Control.
The strategy was simple, the tactics sublime. Attack the beast straight on and make every blast count. He leaned to his left, he leaned to his right - one, two...three, four. Silence. Had he...was it...dead?
The Brave Cowboy was triumphant - the eight legged freak had met his match:
And so, when night fell on the prairie and the coyotes howled at the moon, the tired cowboy...took off his boots...hung up his hat...and unbuckled his two-holster belt. He said his prayers...climbed in his bunk...and settle down to dream the dreams of all good cowboys. Good night little cowboy...Sweet dreams.
He stood tall and straight...and had a two holster belt. But today, instead of his normal six shooters, he was packin' a lethal dose of Bayer Advanced - Home Pest Control.
The strategy was simple, the tactics sublime. Attack the beast straight on and make every blast count. He leaned to his left, he leaned to his right - one, two...three, four. Silence. Had he...was it...dead?
The Brave Cowboy was triumphant - the eight legged freak had met his match:
And so, when night fell on the prairie and the coyotes howled at the moon, the tired cowboy...took off his boots...hung up his hat...and unbuckled his two-holster belt. He said his prayers...climbed in his bunk...and settle down to dream the dreams of all good cowboys. Good night little cowboy...Sweet dreams.
Monday, June 16, 2008
One should explain himself
OK, really, who is this goof ball? I've been told on several occasions by some very reputable sources (ahem) that I am NOT a cowboy. Fine, sure go ahead and ruin my quest to be the next Tim McGraw - see if I care! What? He's not a real cowboy either? So who, Gene Autry? Never heard of him.
The Brave Cowboy is a book about a little boy who dresses up as a cowboy and spends the day living in a fantasy world augmented by a superb imagination. Everything that is part of this surreal experience is drawn in red - good thing because I'm sure if the distinction between reality and fiction wasn't pointed out someone would sue the author for endangering a child (there are cacti, snakes, buffalo, etc. depicted in his adventure). Sheesh.
So, that said, I would like to explain that the intent of my blog is for my dearest friends (is this like telling someone you Love them for the first time over e-mail?) to experience my adventures with me. Yes, I will admit, that so far most of my experiences have been real - but don't you worry, I'll throw some imagination in there soon.
The Brave Cowboy is a book about a little boy who dresses up as a cowboy and spends the day living in a fantasy world augmented by a superb imagination. Everything that is part of this surreal experience is drawn in red - good thing because I'm sure if the distinction between reality and fiction wasn't pointed out someone would sue the author for endangering a child (there are cacti, snakes, buffalo, etc. depicted in his adventure). Sheesh.
So, that said, I would like to explain that the intent of my blog is for my dearest friends (is this like telling someone you Love them for the first time over e-mail?) to experience my adventures with me. Yes, I will admit, that so far most of my experiences have been real - but don't you worry, I'll throw some imagination in there soon.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Call Me Willie
Sitting amongst thousands of computers nerds really makes one evaluate his life. I'm I one of them? Is this something I should be proud of? Heck, I've got a great job, a great family, and a technical vocabulary that makes most people cringe...
Why call me Willie? He is the Artist of the well-known jingle: On the Road Again. As many of you know, I am once again, on the road. This week I am spending my lonely nights in San Fran-sicko - excuse me - San Francisco. Don't get offended, this is how the locals refer to it as well - and I am somewhat a local. Dad was born and raised here and has vowed to never return. Regardless, I voluntarily chose to come here - honestly, I was more excited than usual. Why? WWDC 2008.
Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference is held once a year. This year there are over 5,000 attendees - it's nuts. This is a chance for those freako Mac Developers to meet 1-on-1 with Apple Engineers - pick their brains, if you will. I am here purely for PR purposes, you know, to stand around and look good in my Symantec shirts - it's a rough life. Amazingly, however, all of this Mac hype is somewhat affecting me. For those of you that know me, I am NOT one to jump on the bandwagon and run out to buy the latest and greatest gadgets! Also, those of you that know me are probably rolling on the floor right now laughing at the joke I just told. OK, I admit, those fancy new gadgets catch my eye and usually my wallet...
All the hotels were pretty much full within a close vicinity of the conference center so we had to take our business elsewhere. How far you ask? About 20 minutes, or so, walking - through some of the roughest streets in San Fran-sicko (this time I won't correct myself...=)). Let's see, I've been yelled at, told I was going to die [white boy], offered "the first 5 minutes are free, honey...", and that was just yesterday! Honestly, this hasn't phased me one bit - I put up with stuff like this ALL THE TIME for 2 years; but rest assured, the second 2 years of marriage have improved.
Just kidding. But really, parts of Honduras were home to sickos as well. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mission - it's just in a third world country, people like this are expected - not in such a lavish state like California!
OK, again, just kidding. Anyway, I'm sure there are still lots of experiences that are in store for me this week so check back often.
Why call me Willie? He is the Artist of the well-known jingle: On the Road Again. As many of you know, I am once again, on the road. This week I am spending my lonely nights in San Fran-sicko - excuse me - San Francisco. Don't get offended, this is how the locals refer to it as well - and I am somewhat a local. Dad was born and raised here and has vowed to never return. Regardless, I voluntarily chose to come here - honestly, I was more excited than usual. Why? WWDC 2008.
Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference is held once a year. This year there are over 5,000 attendees - it's nuts. This is a chance for those freako Mac Developers to meet 1-on-1 with Apple Engineers - pick their brains, if you will. I am here purely for PR purposes, you know, to stand around and look good in my Symantec shirts - it's a rough life. Amazingly, however, all of this Mac hype is somewhat affecting me. For those of you that know me, I am NOT one to jump on the bandwagon and run out to buy the latest and greatest gadgets! Also, those of you that know me are probably rolling on the floor right now laughing at the joke I just told. OK, I admit, those fancy new gadgets catch my eye and usually my wallet...
All the hotels were pretty much full within a close vicinity of the conference center so we had to take our business elsewhere. How far you ask? About 20 minutes, or so, walking - through some of the roughest streets in San Fran-sicko (this time I won't correct myself...=)). Let's see, I've been yelled at, told I was going to die [white boy], offered "the first 5 minutes are free, honey...", and that was just yesterday! Honestly, this hasn't phased me one bit - I put up with stuff like this ALL THE TIME for 2 years; but rest assured, the second 2 years of marriage have improved.
Just kidding. But really, parts of Honduras were home to sickos as well. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mission - it's just in a third world country, people like this are expected - not in such a lavish state like California!
OK, again, just kidding. Anyway, I'm sure there are still lots of experiences that are in store for me this week so check back often.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
OK, so I've succumbed to peer pressure and have started my very own blog - now let's see how long I can maintain it...
I've named my blog after my favorite childhood book: The Brave Cowboy by Joan Walsh Anglund. It was published in 1959 and has suffered many tears and scribbles. It appears you can still purchase a copy here.
Growing up out in the country and under very humble circumstances, my imagination was really the only thing I had. Well, sure, my parents did buy me toys occasionally but they all ended up pulverized by one of Dad's hammers.
I was born and raised in Napa, CA and was the 3rd of 4 children. Baseball was my life. I tried very hard to follow in the footsteps of my father, and uncle, whom both played professional baseball. Dad was drafted in 1967 by the New York Yankees. He enjoyed an exciting career in the Minor Leagues before calling it quits in 1970. Uncle Don made his big league debut in 1966 with the Pittsburgh Pirates. He enjoyed 4 years in the Major Leagues playing for the Pirates, Mets, and the Expos. See his career stats here.
I began playing when I was still in diapers. I was always referred to as " the diminutive Andrew Bosch" - it never bothered me. When I turned 18 and played my final game, I had a decision to make. Go on an LDS mission, or go straight to college and pursue my baseball career. After much thought and prayer (and a few whacks on the head from Mom and Dad...) I decided to serve and was called to the Honduras Comayagüela Mission. I have never regretted that decision.
Before I returned home 2 years later, Mom had enrolled me in classes at Rick's College in Rexburg, Idaho. I left Honduras on December 22, 2000 and arrived in Iceburg. I'm sure it was a daunting site for locals to see yet another vehicle with CA plates sliding all over the ice covered roads...
I met the love of my life in my last year there. We dated for 5 weeks before we got engaged and were sealed in the Las Vegas LDS temple 7 weeks later. Several months later I graduated with a BS in Computer Science from the newly transitioned BYU-Idaho.
Allie was born in March of 2005 and then we moved to Utah in October after I accepted a job offer with a local software company. Kallin was born in July of 2006 - it is so fun to watch them play together.
Currently, I work as a Product Manager at Symantec. We are enjoying our new home out in Eagle Mountain and have made many friends here. If you're reading this I'm sure you're one of them...=).
My hobbies include: rock crawling/offroading, hunting, fishing, golfing, camping - pretty much anything and everything that has to do with the outdoors. If that sounds fun to you, then you can be my friend.
Cheers.
I've named my blog after my favorite childhood book: The Brave Cowboy by Joan Walsh Anglund. It was published in 1959 and has suffered many tears and scribbles. It appears you can still purchase a copy here.
Growing up out in the country and under very humble circumstances, my imagination was really the only thing I had. Well, sure, my parents did buy me toys occasionally but they all ended up pulverized by one of Dad's hammers.
I was born and raised in Napa, CA and was the 3rd of 4 children. Baseball was my life. I tried very hard to follow in the footsteps of my father, and uncle, whom both played professional baseball. Dad was drafted in 1967 by the New York Yankees. He enjoyed an exciting career in the Minor Leagues before calling it quits in 1970. Uncle Don made his big league debut in 1966 with the Pittsburgh Pirates. He enjoyed 4 years in the Major Leagues playing for the Pirates, Mets, and the Expos. See his career stats here.
I began playing when I was still in diapers. I was always referred to as " the diminutive Andrew Bosch" - it never bothered me. When I turned 18 and played my final game, I had a decision to make. Go on an LDS mission, or go straight to college and pursue my baseball career. After much thought and prayer (and a few whacks on the head from Mom and Dad...) I decided to serve and was called to the Honduras Comayagüela Mission. I have never regretted that decision.
Before I returned home 2 years later, Mom had enrolled me in classes at Rick's College in Rexburg, Idaho. I left Honduras on December 22, 2000 and arrived in Iceburg. I'm sure it was a daunting site for locals to see yet another vehicle with CA plates sliding all over the ice covered roads...
I met the love of my life in my last year there. We dated for 5 weeks before we got engaged and were sealed in the Las Vegas LDS temple 7 weeks later. Several months later I graduated with a BS in Computer Science from the newly transitioned BYU-Idaho.
Allie was born in March of 2005 and then we moved to Utah in October after I accepted a job offer with a local software company. Kallin was born in July of 2006 - it is so fun to watch them play together.
Currently, I work as a Product Manager at Symantec. We are enjoying our new home out in Eagle Mountain and have made many friends here. If you're reading this I'm sure you're one of them...=).
My hobbies include: rock crawling/offroading, hunting, fishing, golfing, camping - pretty much anything and everything that has to do with the outdoors. If that sounds fun to you, then you can be my friend.
Cheers.
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