The Ignorant Adventure

I do not consider myself a profound intellect. I do not consider myself an inept neither. I do, however, have a sense of humor, which can be very controversial these days. Case and point: the latest adventure...

With the declining economy, we have decided the best position to be in financially is as free and clear as possible. We currently subscribe to Dish Network services. Once our initial 2-year contract expired, we made sure to avoid any further commitments that would limit our flexibility to cancel our service. When we moved to our new home in January we had Dish move our equipment for "free". Yeah, you guessed it, NOTHING today is free. Apparently, having them move our equipment for "free" really committed us to an 18-month contract. Nice. If you are a current Dish customer, beware - I told the nice customer service representative that I would make sure to warn all my friends about their deceitfulness. Well, I am holding to my promise.

Regardless, over the past few months, we had planned to install a large directional antenna in our attic to see how many HD channels we could pickup. The TV we bought in July has an integrated ATSC tuner, which is what interprets the HD signal. We are hoping one day to once again enjoy FREE over-the-air TV.

I enter a certain "electronics" store this evening and head over to the antenna section. A salesperson opens the "Employees Only" door and exits - right into my path. She, er He - no She was dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt, a rainbow tie, and short hair - not part of the apparel but significant, nonetheless. Here is the conversation that ensued:

Salesperson: "Can I help you find anything?"
Customer: "Yes, I want to buy a 60" antenna."
Salesperson: "OK, I've got one in back."
Customer: "One question first."
Salesperson: "Sure."
Customer: "My builder left an un-terminated coax cable in the attic where I will be setting up this antenna. I need to know what type of connection it comes with so that I can buy all the necessary hardware here."
Salesperson: "All the antennas we sell have a female connector."
Customer: "Oh, OK. So do I need to put a female connector on my un-terminated coax cable?"
Salesperson: "No. You need a male connector."
Customer: "Really. You mean two females together won't work?"
Salesperson: "Absolutely not, you need a male connector."
Customer: "Well, what about two males?"
Salesperson: "Again Sir, No. You need one female and one male."
Customer: "Interesting. I bet there are quite a few people who don't understand that concept."
Salesperson: "Oh, you'd be surprised..."
Customer: "Probably not."
Salesperson: "Anything else I can help you with today?"
Customer: "No, thank you. I think we both learned some valuable information today. Thank you so much for your time."
Salesperson: "Um, no problem, please come again!".